August 28, 2012
When I became aware my throat chakra was closed, it took upwards of ten years to clear and open. To reclaim our voices, we need to understand how we were silenced. Here is my story:
As a child I had strong view points and opinions rarely welcomed by my Father. I grew up hearing catchphrases like “don’t speak until your spoken too” and “just ignore it.” My Mother was a little different. She never restricted my reading material, always encouraged free thought and then made comments like, “let’s keep those thoughts to ourselves”. At the time, my young parents were doing their best to pay the bills, feed us and keep their kids out of trouble. They were not equipped to manage a creative and outspoken kid whose thoughts did not mirror social norms. Let’s face it, I viewed the world differently and my parents did not have the skills to deal with it. As a result, I learned anger, yelling and how to be quiet – not much in between.
As I grew up, it became obvious my communication style needed a change. I read every self improvement book I could find. By the time I made it to my early twenties I had discovered enough problem solving mechanisms to mitigate my issues. However, the throat remained closed. As a result these symptoms would show themselves at the worst time:
Upset, I kept quiet, until I was so angry I’d blow
Could not share my feelings
Trouble telling people “no”
Anything to avoid confrontation
Making fun of people
Could not sing, gossiped, yelling
In my mid-twenties, these issues were taking their toll on my marriage, so I went to see a psychologist. The best year of self care ever! My marriage did not survive counseling nor did we clear my throat. However, for the first time, I could see patterns, the impact of parental discipline and mentally organize childhood issues. I could also share my feelings. A huge step forward!
The real test and reality check came seventeen years ago on a fateful flight from Phoenix to Portland:
On this flight, there was a man named “John” whom I had never met. John was seated next to me. Thirty minutes into the flight, he asked me to kiss him. I said “no”. This scenario played itself out multiple times. Like a good girl, and true to my childhood training, I ignored him. The man seated behind John, heard what was happening, kicked the back of John’s seat and hollered at him. Witnessing the altercation, the flight attendant immediately came over and moved John to a new seat. Problem solved. Well, not exactly. My hero, the man who defended my honor, said to his wife, “ I don’t know why she didn’t do something about this herself”. Whaa?! I felt like he punched me in the gut. He was right, it was my responsibility to stand up for myself. In a split second, my life changed forever and I spent the remainder of my flight fighting back tears. To this day, remembering hurts, yet it opened the door to my ultimate healing.
Next week, please join me. I’ll be sharing the Symptoms, Causes and Cures for a closed throat chakra.