As a rule, I do not discuss what happens in my bedroom with anyone but my partner. About ten years ago I knew a woman who discussed sex and her personal pursuits publicly. I mentioned to her that maybe she should rethink this behavior because it was her private business. She promptly labelled me a prude. To make matters worse, she repeated the statement to others including a gentleman I was interested in. The truth, she had no idea how I spent my time in the bedroom.
Admittedly, I had to spend some time thinking about being called a prude. After all, I had experience in Tantra and sex magick! I thought my partnerships had been safe places for learning and experimenting. After deep thought, and rethinking the stories, I realized her experiences were very mundane and she had been repeatedly left unsatisfied. Name calling was a feeble attempt at personal denial. There are two types of sex; text book sex and sacred sexuality. They are very different.
Text Book Sex
This is what we see on television and magazines. Its the consummate quickie and the “I want to get in her pants” attitude. The objectification of women and men. An insatiable appetite for a mediocre orgasm. We all know someone screwing a stranger on a regular basis. This type of sex is where we find people who have developed severe behavioral issues like sex addicts and predators. These people have hundreds if not thousands of notches on their belt.
Sacred sexuality begins with respect and trust. Treating our partner as God or Goddess. Discovering their pleasures - its sensual. Its about becoming vulnerable in our heart and trusting our partner with our body. There is as much spiritual, mental and emotional development in this relationship as physical. In this way, we see the absolute beauty and strength in our partner. We trust they will not embarrass or humiliate us, we feel safe. This type of union takes time to develop, it involves personal accountability. The outcome brings deep fulfillment on every level.
Many times, I’ve heard people brag about having sex on the first date. I’d like to share some reasons why maybe we should rethink this attitude:
Every time we have sex, our energies mix with the other person. We literally create a soul link. Do you want a soul link (karma) with this person?
Having sex with random strangers, shows an inability to control one’s genitals. When a person cannot manage sexual desires there are other areas in their life unmanaged. Do you feel a lack of control?
People have been taught to use sex as a manipulation tool. We all know the phrase use your feminine wiles. As a women, I see other women inappropriately flirt with married men. These same women cannot understand why their friends are mad or won’t invite them over anymore. If you know what I’m talking about, ask yourself “Am I using my femininity to manipulate?
The Buddha said “When we become spiritual, the first thing we need to do is learn how to behave. Proper sexual behavior is very important on many levels. When a spiritual person has gained control over sexual desires, they can then move their energy into raised consciousness and achieve Unity / Christ consciousness.
To all the individuals who have been called a PRUDE, thank you for using discernment and keeping your bedroom experiences private. I hope this information has helped.